Frank Miller is a god in the literary community, crafting some of the seminal works in modern comic book history. Recently, his work has found somewhat of a broader appeal. Elements of his legendary mini-series The Dark Knight Returns formed the basis for the recent “Batman Begins” film. In 2005, Robert Rodriguez adapted Miller’s violent, pulpy “Sin City” novels into one of the most distinctive, albeit polarizing movies seen in years. Now another of Miller’s creations has been adapted to film form. As a loyal fanboy who makes the weekly slog to Aftertime Comics every Wednesday, this is met with a combination of euphoria and trepidation.

“300″ is a loosely based account of the Battle of Thermopylae. And when I say “loose”, I don’t just mean relaxed. I mean fully asleep. Coma-like. This makes ‘Domino’ look like a Ken Burns documentary. The story goes that an army of 300 or so Spartan warriors held off an invading Persian force of over a million soldiers for days, using nothing but their superior skills and valor. This battle would take place at the “Hot Gates”, or Thermopylae, a narrow pass which would give the superior Persian force no military advantage whatsoever. The Spartans are led by the stoic King Leonidas, a warrior unmatched on the battlefield, trained from his youth to lead. In the red corner, the Persians are led by Xerxes I, a lanky eel of a man with an obvious piercing fetish. He leads a motley crew of hideous monsters, giants, and obese razor armed executioners. Is this the Persian army or the Addams Family?

Utilizing the same blue screen technology employed in “Sin City”, the action portions of the film are brilliant, truly a wonder to behold. Make no mistake, the action is fast and furious, and the blood flies fast and frequently, splattering against the camera lens like a slap in the face. This ain’t the film to see if the red stuff makes you squeamish. The Spartans show no fear during the brutal carnage, letting fly with the terse, Laconic quips that have become the stuff of legend. When one fallen warlord claims that the “Persian arrows will block out the sun”, the Spartans respond, “Then we shall fight in the shade.” Gallows humor is a must for a film this bloody and over the top. It’s what keeps the mood light, even as someone’s femur is flying across the battlefield.

There’s no denying how much fun the fight sequences are. It’s what we all came to see. And therein lies the problem. The fur can’t fly for the entire two hours, can it? Nope, so we must go back to the homestead to check in on Leonidas’s wife, Queen Gorgo, as she attempts to convince the council to send reinforcements to her husband’s aid. These scenes will put you to slumber faster than you can say “Phantom Menace”. Gorgo is obstructed in her plans by the duplicitous Theron, played by “Freedomland’s” Dominic West. Only he seems to understand that we don’t really care about all this talky stuff. He chews up every scene he’s in, and genuinely appears to be having fun. Lena Headey, who played Gorgo, never looks comfortable and her dialogue comes off as stodgy and wooden. In interviews, she’s stated that she had problems relating to the bluescreen. It shows. More fighting, please.

Unfortunately, this is what makes “300″ merely a good film and not a great film. “Sin City” had the benefit of a living, breathing world that truly felt like another character in the movie. That is a credit to Robert Rodriguez for translating the source material so perfectly, and getting down to what he knew we wanted to see. “300″ is directed by Zach Snyder, who previously directed 2004’s “Dawn of the Dead”. I can’t help but think that in the hands of a more skilled artist, perhaps some of the fat would’ve been trimmed in order to get down to the real business at hand. As it stands, “300″ will go down as a respectable effort that won’t truly appease anyone over the long term. Not the action junkies, the history buffs, or the fanboys. For a different, more complete look at the Battle of Thermopylae, check out “The 300 Spartans”. What it lacks in flash, it more than makes up for in realism and deft storytelling. I promise it won’t disappoint.

About the author
M. Travis Hopson is a member of the DC Film Society, as well as a screener for the American Film Institute in Silver Spring.